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Aug. 23rd, 2016


Monday 3

Hour 3 of a twenty minute call foisted on me at the last second. Less than halfway done. Local tools busted prolly by new hires. Every day I'm shufflin

Aug. 3rd, 2016

bass, kissing

Wednesday 5 make a post

1. Werk. Well, in the staff meeting this morning, it was stated that the Pharoah has decided that Russians are good, and has made contact with a firm in Kiev (yes, I know, not Russians, Ukranians) who will provide support engineers for the off shifts.

so....well, there it is. That's pretty clear. Except none of them have storage experience. "But we can train them!". Hmm. Right. Nope.

2. Wrrrrk. Chickens! They're getting more aggressive. I planted them a garden, which they can't get into, but still plants are disappearing...I think it's rats, dangit.

3. Next big thing: Get the aikido black belt, which means work out, lose weight, and get stretchy again, and get off this shift. OK. Let's see if this idea sticks.

4. Socialness...taking a big hit still from job.

5. Too many things to do feels like I live in ghormengast. Sleep will help. Workshift over at 12:30 in bed by 1 awake by 7...sigh.

Jul. 31st, 2016


5 Things, virtual Monday

1. I am now over my 3 big commits: Clockwork Alchemy, Serenade, and El Capitan. They all did better than I expected, because I work with excellent people. They all could use course corrections and improvements. Now, I need to figure out what my next commits are.

2. I can say with experience that post-show crash from producing is in fact the same as post show crash from performing. Need to tech crew, FOH and direct to round it all out. But it's the combination of withdrawal from social contract, lack of external sourced focus, and realization of exhaustion that's the same. Except, of course, producing means another month of reports and meetings. Callout to Rose/Laurie for taking care of the cast party while I worked. Good luck to her on The Music Man!

3. Chickens are getting aggressive towards me, which is strange. Lack of food? Lack of Greens? The fact that I made a garden they want to eat then put a cage around it? I don't know. They'll get some cage time this week.

4. Work is inherently exhausting, especially when they schedule 8:30 AM meetings (I work 3 PM to Midnight). It's only money... It's infuriating to see simple things that could be done, but won't be, because "we don't have the resources". It's even more infuriating to realize how much harder I sometimes work because I do the job...and most don't. Not an environment worth sticking around in.

5. Job hunt. Gotta get on it. Only 60 days left in this contract.

That's 5. Drink more water. Do more tickets.

Jul. 10th, 2016


5 Creative things.

1. Whitechapel Bar. Plusses: Very nice gin drinks, Steampunk Decor, tasty food. Minuses: San Francisco Bar on a Friday night. Streets lined with homeless people and tense police (BLM protest at Civic Center.) Bonus Double Plus: People. Would do it again, not on a Friday night, not having to cross a protest.

2. "Ragtime", in Union City. Very topical, great music, wonderful company. Great characterization, excellent singing and dancing. Some nitpiks, but still totally worth it. Makes me want to do more theater.

3. German Spud Salad. 2.5 lb red, scrubbed diced and steamed. 2 oz bacon minced, cooked, with 1 1/2 fine dice onion cooked down in the grease, 1 Tbs yellow mustard seed, 1/2 tsp Coleman's mustard powder, 1 tsp celery seed, cooked down and pan deglazed with 1 cup apple cider vinegar, mixed hot. OMG, so good!

4. Planning adventures? Ok. Housesit a place with a hot tub. Travel to Seattle. Go hang with friends at Purg.

5. Presented budget for show.

Jul. 5th, 2016

Fall Helm

5 things make a post

1. Show goes on...it's much easier to not fight "the way it's always been done". Time to get the publicity going.

2. DIdn't do much this weekend. Had some days off, just didn't have much motivation. Skipped Kirby Cove, skipped travelling for parties. I want to be active...

3. Need to fix the diet/exercise regime. Back to HMR on Wednesday. Swim/Yoga/walk every day.

4. Work. Well, got a message on Friday that a 90 day extension to the contract was available. Given how everything else is changed, just sent back a "only if the pay goes up" note. Probably be refused. Half of me says "Take the money here!" the other half says "There is no future here!" Both are true. Driving me crazy, in between the two.

5. Chickens. Doing OK. Not escaping.

Wish me luck on the job tomorrow; I know they'll counteroffer low. I didn't want to leave it until the last minute, but they didn't come back to me until Friday--when I work M-Th, and had F-to M marked as off on the calendar (4rth).

I feel like an idiot. Ah well.

Jun. 24th, 2016



Lost VO gig to not getting work done fast enough. Losing support contract due to things. Not announced but my nerves say so. Bleh.

What gives me joy? Walks with friends, dancing, coffee wits.

Jun. 22nd, 2016


Ffs FB is tiring

Trolls and ops and dubious links. Dens having sit ins because repugs won't do anything. Endless fucking sealioning and fear selling.

Fucking done. Balanced discussion? No possible there. Fuck you Republican obstructionist murdering tools. FUCK OFF AND DIE IN GUNFIRE.

Jun. 12th, 2016

Fall Helm


The best way to kill a birthday? Get blamed for the off shift dropping the ball on a case. Point it out, have it blamed on the one guy who is responsible. Point that out, get things moving, and then get caught up in the "why don't you get all your hours approved ahead of time?" discussion, where I am going to request things in writing, which will never happen.

Get told "Dude! "44

exact words:


You are missing this big time! As a manager, I expect to know the times beforehand that any of my team members are on schedule so that I can accurately manage the business. If all of a sudden a team member decides, “well, I’m not going to work 5 days this week, but work 4 days a week”, that should be discussed with me and approved prior to that decision. I appreciate the flexibility. I really do. Let’s not get that confused. However, I do expect notice of any deviation from the schedule that we have because we need to make changes in coverage and phone routing.


You were given advanced notice. You chose to forget the second part, where I worked extra hours to make them up. You now want to know why I am so negative about working extra hours. Is it so hard to understand? I've lost 8 hours of obvious, and 20 hours of previous, overtime. That's extremely significant. So, if it isn't written, it's not real.

Also, "dude"? Really? Fuck you. I am not your friend, I am your employee, as the rest of the message hammers home to me.

May. 24th, 2016


Random Toxic Exchange on FB:

ExcitableHill: So Thiel financed Hulk Hogan's suit against Gawker. When do we find out that he's been financing Gamer Gate, the Rabid Puppies, and the Sanders campaign?

JustMello: He's pro-Trump.
ExcitableHill: I know, and the Sanders campaign, at this point, is just an adjunct to the Trump campaign.

John R. Schmidt ExcitableHill: Really? That's a lovely insult you have there.

ExcitableHill: John R. Schmidt I'm tired of bros of all form, regardless of if they are supporting Vox Day or the "we must destroy human civilization to keep a woman out of the Presidency option."

John R. Schmidt ExcitableHill: And so, you're saying that anyone who still feels Sen. Sanders is a viable candidate, or that voting for him in California may force the Democratic party to pay some attention to his platform, is equivalent to Vox Day? I understand your exhaustion from one remove (I am not as threatened by Trump's extremism.) Is this your intent?

ExcitableHill: John R. Schmidt I'm saying that willingness to accept the risk of a GOP presidency in order to advance an agenda which will never survive the current congress is a lot of privilege. Clinton's not perfect, but I stand a better chance of not ending up in a death camp if she's elected.

ExcitableHill:John R. Schmidt and that protecting queer, immigant, and Black lives is more important than "getting the bankers" right now.

John R. Schmidt ExcitableHill: Sure. I apologize; I'm going to stop this conversation. Please understand, however, that not all Bernie supporters are Bros...and economic inequality is a strong driver and base for the other inequalities.

ExcitableHill:The US is in survival mode now, we don't have room for any luxuries.

NO. THE UNITED STATES IS NOT IN SURVIVAL MODE. It's in Oligarchy Mode. It's in Fear Mode. But it's not in Survival Mode. But if this is the fear of the other that you give into...rednecks (immigrants) will kill you (will impose law and kill you) then you've lost.

And if this is what you believe, take to the fucking streets. Arguing on FB is just pissant irritating. In France, on a labor issue, they've shut the country down. Here, slow down the commute and hate is poured out upon you. I walked the line 4 years, every week I was there, I was spit on and struck and threatened because I stood up for the women, and I made a difference. Friends are walking with the Black Lives Matter set. Get out and talk to the politicians. Get on the City Council. At least WRITE your congresswoman. But sowing fear on FB that anyone who votes for Sanders...or for that matter, who votes for anyone BUT Hillary Clinton--is going to elect Trump who will PUT ALL XXXXXX IN DEATH CAMPS... I'm out.

I do invite you, dear readers, to vote, vote strong, and tell me what you strongly feel about. I voted Jerry Hill, Honda, and Harris; not as happy about Harris but best choice given, I thought. And my presidential vote will be A) Pro Women's Rights (especially health) and B) Against having family members killed in overseas expeditionary bullshit. So Trump? Right out.

It doesn't help that a grim friend declaimed that Trump would win, and set all to right...I wish the general run of the Republicans I know (not all Republicans) were less depressed and cranky, or downright gun crazy.

Toxic. Go get your vote on.

May. 14th, 2016



1. Play fantastic. Stanford Savoyard's "Don Giovanni". Skipped FNW to sleep....good call.

2. Java with Jerry very good. Interesting discussions about power, public oversight, and the political process. Multiple older women reading from prepared statements, ready to burst into tears (I loved the letter from the "Save the Jarvis Foundation" about how the taxes would kill the elderly, right after the "We must have multiple evaluations and mental health and social workers if you want to kill yourself!" lady. The Right is doing it right; the form letters are well crafted and they send in multiple supporters, all outraged at how the Government is Trying to Kill them/ Tax them Unfairly) It's ...rather fascinating, really, especially when Senator Hill's greatest strength is power utility discussion... which had a whole bunch of kooks ready to roll.

3. Senator Hill is a politician; he has met and worked with Harris and Clinton, and endorsed them months ago. No surprises. THe surprise was his support for nuclear energy, because he's green...and his depth and grasp of these issues.

4. Went to Mists/Cyn war. Tried to put armor on. Gap. 1", but down the centerline? No. A. Write out diet and exercise plan and B) Make new body armor, longer, which can handle the overlap.

5. Focusing down in the day helps. Do less better, and be ready to rest or be flexible. 3 hours in the sun hauling chairs and marshalling tired me out. Skip the evening, sleep...

6. Gonna be a rough week, gotta get CA geared, start rolling forward on El Capitan, and there's some serious Serenade rehearsals to do... Avaunt!

7. CHICKENS! Closed them in the backyard, but left path to back fence open. Found them all in frontyard...sneaky, sneaky. THink the lights are keeping them up too late. Chaz brought cole, they jumped ALL over that.

8. Need to imitate Laina and do a side project.

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